I'm trying to hear you God...can you speak up?

So last night as I was reading this book by Mary Beth Chapman & her talking so much about the signs from God, it got me thinking. Maybe the feelings & thoughts that I’ve had in my head the past two days are really God talking to me about having another baby. It’s so hard to know…I was washing dishes at the sink & thinking about Tanner being over at Caden Messick’s for a play date & thinking how nice it is to get some time to myself or just that if we had a baby that would give me time for one on one with the baby. It made me think that the only way you get “ME TIME” when you have two is if you have two play dates going on at the same time with both kiddos away at others homes.

The other thought that I’d had that it made me think of as could that be God talking to me – I was getting ready for work & could feel the frustration with Tanner & trying to get him to stay on track with getting ready for school so we could get out the door on time. I think about him back talking or point blank not listening & then I get so angry/uptight and I was thinking – if I were pregnant would that make the baby all uptight & come out with a different temperament than Tanner had as a baby? I was so calm & relaxed through my pregnancy with Tanner. He was such an easy, happy go lucky baby! Would the 2nd baby be like that if I’m not as calm and relaxed myself? Or you know, that may not have ANYTHING to do with the baby! I just think that kiddo hears everything in the womb! Not that they understand what their hearing…but I think they would have some sense to stressful vs. calm. Who knows…it’s not like we can TALK to a fetus or a newborn! HA!

I've been trying for some time to figure out if we are to have another child or not.  I just kind of decided well, I'm not on the pill & if it's meant to happen it'll happen.  Well, not so according to the Doc.  Different story than where I'm at right now. So...I've decided ultimately it is up to God, not to say I'm not going to see when I'm ovulating & try to make sure we know the days...But I am asking for prayers (have been doing myself for over a year now) that God either puts a calm in me that I'm OK with one or that Chad gets on board wtih me for anotehr.  Neither REALLY have happened 100%.  So, I'm still listening...Maybe as Mary Beth Chapman says you have to SEE.

You need to read this book, she really does have such a great story to tell!