Depressed-Lazy or just winter?

I think I am depressed...yea, I'm pretty sure it's depression.  I'm just not me...

I've been in this weird state of mind for MONTHS now! 

I was so happy, I mean on top of the world just 9 1/2 months ago.  Gradually things started going downhill until they completely fell apart and I was sitting at the bottom.

 

Gradually I felt myself coming back, but I really wasn't letting myself go through the pain and I've been on a yo yo, roller coaster of sorts since.

I feel like I'm just a mess.

I just can't seem to get back to my happy place again. 

The house is such a mess and I've never fully gotten itself back from

taking down the Christmas decorations. 

I don't know where I went, but I sure wish I'd resurface 100% and come back to me!

I feel very lost, I miss Brad and I know that no one understands that.  I just want him back.  I want him back with a job and ready to step in as an active participant in this life!

I want him to prove so many people wrong and BE THE MAN that he's supposed to be in his life.

I know he can do it, he's just gotta step up and believe in himself!