Tuesday, March 5, 2013

So done with the depressed mindset and negative thoughts


I can’t do it anymore…NO MORE ROOM for negativity!  This was my thinking after I dropped Tanner off this morning.  It’s not healthy and it’s wearing me down!  It’s not constructive and it’s not helping me to be the best ME – the best MOM I can be! 
I just googled negativity & found this:
Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.
It’s so true! 
If you sit around thinking about how tired you are, you make yourself even more  tired, if you think about how rotten you feel you’re going to keep feeling rotten!  After being sick for so many days, I decided today – it was time to say I FEEL GOOD!  No matter how not 100% I feel, GO FOR IT and PRETEND to feel good! 

If you think about all the things that are going wrong in your life & how sad, depressed or angry you are – the more sad, depressed and angrier you become!

If you think about all the things that are going right and bring joy to your life, you’ll be happier!

If one thinks that one is happy, that is enough to be happy Madame de la Fayette
10 things she did to help overcome negative thoughts:
1. Meditate or do yoga.
One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.
2. Smile.
I didn’t do much of this during the weekend so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.
3. Surround yourself with positive people.
I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive, yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.
4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.
For example, instead of thinking We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation, replace that with We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.
5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.
The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.
6. Help someone.
Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.
7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.
It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.
8. Sing.
I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better . When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.
9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.
Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: My cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

I am ready to make some changes, but unless I think positive and really focus on HOW I can make those changes, things aren't going to happen on their own!  This is MY LIFE and I am the only one that can turn it around!  Tanner says he doesn't like the road he's on, well - it's my job as his Mama to help him LOVE THAT ROAD! 
 

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