A small petite older Lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out,
"Crisco, Crisssssssco! "
Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, "Maam, the Crisco is in
Aisle 3."
The Lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm Calling
my Husband. He's in here somewhere"
The clerk is astonished. "Your Husband's name is Crisco?"
The old Lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out
in Public."
"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?"
"Lard ass.. "
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Bungee Jumping In Mexico
Alice and Frank were Bungee jumping one day. Alice says to Frank, 'You
know we could make a lot of money running our own Bungee-jumping business
in Mexico.' Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money
and buy everything they need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are
constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more
people gather to watch them at work. When they had finished, there was such a
crowd,they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration, so Alice
jumps. She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes back up, Frank
notices that she has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Frank isn't
able to catch her and she falls again, bounces, and comes back up again. This
time, she is bruised and bleeding. Again, Frank misses her. Alice falls
again and bounces back up. This time, she comes back pretty messed up --
she's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Frank
finally catches her this time and says, 'What happened? Was the cord too
long?' Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, 'No, the Bungee cord was fine ... it was the crowd! ... What the HELL is a pinata?!
know we could make a lot of money running our own Bungee-jumping business
in Mexico.' Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money
and buy everything they need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are
constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more
people gather to watch them at work. When they had finished, there was such a
crowd,they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration, so Alice
jumps. She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes back up, Frank
notices that she has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Frank isn't
able to catch her and she falls again, bounces, and comes back up again. This
time, she is bruised and bleeding. Again, Frank misses her. Alice falls
again and bounces back up. This time, she comes back pretty messed up --
she's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Frank
finally catches her this time and says, 'What happened? Was the cord too
long?' Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, 'No, the Bungee cord was fine ... it was the crowd! ... What the HELL is a pinata?!
Top 11 reasons to go to work naked
* Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your butt in here by 8:00!"
* Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
* Inventive way to finally meet that hunk in Human Resources.
* "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
* To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
* You want to see if it's like the dream.
* So that, with a little help from Muzak, you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your
exaggerated resume.
* People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
* Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
* Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
* No one steals your chair
* Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
* Inventive way to finally meet that hunk in Human Resources.
* "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
* To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
* You want to see if it's like the dream.
* So that, with a little help from Muzak, you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your
exaggerated resume.
* People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
* Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
* Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
* No one steals your chair
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Best ever spot to find Gweneth Paltrow's short cut from the movie Sliding Doors!
http://gwynethpaltrowfan.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=13
Stumbled upon this today on the internet! Back in 1998 the day after I saw this movie, I went & got my hair lopped off similar to this & think I may be going for it again next Monday!
Also came across these cute hair pictures of a friend of an old friend's little siter. (How confusing is that!?)
Stumbled upon this today on the internet! Back in 1998 the day after I saw this movie, I went & got my hair lopped off similar to this & think I may be going for it again next Monday!
Also came across these cute hair pictures of a friend of an old friend's little siter. (How confusing is that!?)
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