Tuesday, April 30, 2013

best day ever...

Seriously, perfect weather, walked Tanner to school this morning, job offer, coffee/tea break with my sweets for an hour and a Royals game to end it all off with my sweet boy!  Loving life...everything is falling into place!


Beauty or character...

This is something that I have really come to understand in the past few days!  It's funny b/c when I was coming out of my divorce I was all "oooh, I have this hot guy & the sex is amazing"!  I had found myself a hot guy (in my opinion at the time) and we had just that, great sex!  So...take it down the road a bit & many know the story...NOT GOOD.  It did not end well!  And when I say that, I don't just mean I got my heart broken. No, I ended up with a dead dog, a ton of debt, a pretty hateful relationship with my ex husband, some VERY strained friendships that are still fighting to get back to what they once were, over $1000 worth of damage in my home...just more crap than one could EVER imagine would come from what started out as something that felt so good & made me feel like the most special girl in the world!
Then, when that ended, I still had this idea that he has to be so hot, and if I'm not 100% physically attracted, I'm not even wasting my time.  (Really shallow sounding when I think about it, I know).  But after dating a couple guys (one of whom I was remember telling my BFF his voice is so deep, he is so sexy...blah blah blah...) & not finding a good fit, I was moving forward again. I found the most amazing man!  Very cute & after talking & texting with him and I liked what was there with that, I thought let's see if there's a spark/connection in person.  WHOA...was there ever!  Talking, kissing & hanging out for over 6 hours, we definitely connected and there was a spark!  In the end, if you don't have that emotional connection in addition to the physical, what's it going to be when the body's not working anymore?  There's more to a person than just a pretty face, it'a about having a pretty heart too!   

Monday, April 29, 2013

What a difference a year makes!

Today as I was mowing the yard I couldn't help but smile as I was thinking where I am today and how happy I am in my life!  Watching Georgia run with her ball out back just made me smile!  She's so happy and I'm so thankful that we have our sweet girl!  I'm thankful for this new guy in my life and how sweet he is and the potential for what could be there.  I am thankful that I own this home and my son and I are lucky enough to still be here!  Even though I don't have a job, I am thankful that it sounds like an offer should be coming in a day or two!  I am thankful to be out of my marriage and able to find happiness with a good man that will love me the way I need to be loved and let me give him all the love I have inside of me! 
I'm thankful to be off of the crazy train ride that I hopped on almost one year ago.  What a ride...what a ride!  NEVER expected anything like that in my life, I mean seriously!  WHOA...
I'm just so happy to be living the life I'm living with my son, our cats, our dog & even our cute hamster (who will bite the crap out of you if you try to pick him up!)  HA...darn you Q-Bert!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Reunion at Heaven's gate today!

Aunt Verda passed away this morning.  95 years is not something to be sad about, she lived a long, full life!  The last three years not so happy as they were without her honest to goodness soul mate and husband of over 50 years.  Aunt Verda was more than ready to go & had been asking the Good Lord why he was leaving her here since she'd lost Uncle Ed.  My Great Aunt was not by any means the sweetest, most kind and well liked woman in town!  In fact, she was pretty darn ornery & would say what was on her mine.  Not always a positive things either...I think the saying "if you don't have anything nice, don't say anything at all" may have been started for my Aunt Verda!  Uncle Ed was one of the few that could keep her in check.  I sure loved her though & have many a fond memory at her house!  I will forever miss her raspberry pies & I'll cherish my Christmas ornaments that I still hang on our trees every year!  I'll always remember the last trip out to see her & how snippy she got with me about my getting a divorce.  God love her, I know Aunt Verda was so happy today as she made her way through those pearly gates to so many loved ones that have gone before her.  I know she's with Uncle Ed, her parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, her brother, my Grandma, Dad and so many more! 


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Sicko out there amoung us...

So I have an email show up last night from match & it says this:

???? im waiting

coaches at 8.. 135 there...text me ...913     jimmy

I'm like who are you!?  Just weird...I knew his face as soon as I saw it b/c I'd seen him on here before & he just looks like creepy!  So you can see part of his profile in that message too.  Look at this, SERIOUSLY, this man has something missing upstairs!  WHO in their right mind would have a profile like this?!

I like my waffles with blue berry's and whip cream please
I love to eat a fresh peach the only problem is there very hard to find especially the kind that has no fuzz at all they are very rare I won't eat just any type of peach it has to be fresh and clean and tasty and doesn't look like a catchers mitt
Then this morning I get another message from him! 

My ball sac is loaded ....

And ready to play ball so pic the balls you want to play with most and we can go to the park and throw them around

What is wrong with you!?  Gross...take it somewhere else buddy! 

Friday, April 19, 2013

My top 15 list for Mr Right (who knows, I may keep adding)

I treat my man like a king, so treat me like your queen...I deserve no less and I will accept no less! 

I've been thinking of things for my little list...my list on what I want in a man!  The order does not have anything to do with order of importance!

1. Has a job
2. Name does not start with a B.  (just had two bad B experiences back to back)
3. Likes Zach Brown Band
4. Spiritual
5. Understands that the little things mean so much!  (send me good morning texts, hello's throughout the day, kiss me on the forehead, ask if there's anything you can do to help while I'm fixing dinner...)
6. Positive & upbeat.  Sure we all have our bad days, moments, but in the big scheme of things, believes the glass is half full.
7. Ambition - never stop trying to better yourself
8. Loves animals - dogs, cats, whatever & would never even THINK of hurting one!
9. Is not jealous of my time & understands that my son is just that - my SON!  He has to come first. I'm not saying you're not important, but he's 7!!  You are a grown man & don't need me like he does.  Believe me, if you're a real man & secure in yourself, you won't ever feel like you're second or "neglected" by my time with my son.
10. Takes care of his body.  I'm not saying you have to have a six pack by any means...but he'll enjoy exercise of some sort & staying in shape. 
11. Adventurous to some degree in eating!  Please...no picky eaters!  I don't want to have to figure out what I can and can't cook b/c I can't use peppers and onions!  That's just crazy right there....
12. Likes that I like to cook so much & appreciates it!  Please, let me make you a big breakfast every once in awhile!  I love breakfasts on the weekend!
13. Is happy to just hang out & run errands, work in the yard and just be together on a Saturday.  But, likes to go grab a nice dinner, hear live music, go to a movie...out with friends, up for whatever!
14. LOVES movies as much as me! 
15. Enjoys spending time with my son & my son enjoys him too!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

My one true, honest to goodness BFF!

Love this girl more than any other!  Seriously...knows everything there is to know about me & still loves me anyways!  Even with my crazy habits!  She's the one you can say anything too & you know it's not going to get leaked around.  No matter how stupid you feel about having done something, you can tell her...she's not judging & laughs with you.  OK, sometimes at you b/c when I fall, I FALL GOOD...and it is funny!! 
My BFF...Holly

Thursday, April 11, 2013

I just want to find love...

 I just want that love...
that once in a lifetime love that I know God has waiting for me!
I want to find a man who adores me as much as I adore him! 
Who wants to be with me and thinks about me when we're not together & let's me know it! 
Someone who wants to spend time with me whether it be doing nothing but regular day to day stuff or doing something...
As hard as it is, I have to sit back and have PATIENCE!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Emotional overload today

I think I've hit every emotion today!  Seriously...Happy, thankful, sad, angry, frustrated, hopeful, helpless, those are the only words coming to mind right now, but I can honestly say I have hit really every emotion a human can hit - ALL IN ONE DAY.  THIS one day!  I'm not sure exactly how I've managed to do that...conversations, time with others, time alone...It wasn't a bad day, it had it's highs & lows though!  
Welcome to my roller coaster of a day!  Hope the ride stops & just picks ONE place to stay for the rest of the day!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Looking for that one to hold my hand forever!

The little things!  Hand holding, good morning texts or just a hi, or thinking of you in the middle of the day.  That's what I want!  I wanna know you miss me when you're at work, out playing with your dog or whatever you may be doing!  No, I don't wanna be the only thing on your mind, but yea I wanna be right up there on the top of your list with your kids!  (If you have kids that is).  I'm looking for my forever...I saw something yesterday that I loved - a dedication at the beginning of my new book.  She was calling her husband "light of my life - senior" and her son "light of my life - Junior".
THAT - that's what I'm looking for! Someone to fill the senior position, I have my light of my life junior.

Friday, April 5, 2013

A little Easter here in KC!

Such a strange Easter this year!  First one where I've been single in YEARS and then we shared the day with Tanner so to not have my sweet boy with me all day was very different too!  It was a great day, and Tanner enjoyed himself and that is what matters most! 
Spent Saturday evening together at Dave & Busters!


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Irreplaceable - Beyonce

HA...SO SO SO true...You ARE very replaceable!  Sayin' I'm a fool and stupid.  Yea, keep on talkin' about that as you load up & head on out.  I am WAY better than anything you could ever be or do.
Favorite line: "Replacing you was so easy" & "don't you ever get to thinking that your irreplaceable". A man - responsible, grown up, working, not 100% supported by his Mama at 40.  That's what I'm looking for. No 200 lb man/child.

Speechless - Beyonce

New song I discovered today - LOVE!

Best Thing I Never Had - Beyonce

"Best Thing I Never Had"
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
I say what goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around...

There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I must've been out of my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I, I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
I thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out

I wanted you bad
I'm so through with that
'Cause honestly you turned out to be the (best thing I never had)
You turned out to be the (best thing I never had)
And I'm gonna' always be the (best thing you never had)
Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and baby yes I saw the real you

Thank God you blew it
I thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
Baby good lookin' out

I wanted you bad
I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the (best thing I never had)
I said, you turned out to be the (best thing I never had)
And I'll never be the (best thing you never had)
Oh baby I bet sucks to be you right now

I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye

I used to want you so bad
I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the (best thing I never had)
Oh you turned out to be (the best thing I never had)
And I will always be the (best thing you never had)
Oh, best thing you never had!

I used to want you so bad
I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the (best thing I never had)
Oh you turned out to be the (best thing I never had)
Oh, I will never be the (best thing you never had)
Oh baby, I bet it sucks to be you right now

What goes around, comes back around
What goes around, comes back around
I bet it sucks to be you right now
What goes around, comes back around
I bet it sucks to be you right now
What goes around, comes back around
I bet it sucks to be you right now

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Not everyone deserves to be in your life

"Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life." - Lauren Covington

Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know

Love this song!  A friend shared this video with me, they just discovered the song.  I really like watching these kids in here mouthing the song!

Be thankful on your journey

Felt like home...

Sunday Tanner & I went back to Knox and it felt good...after being away for almost a year & trying other church's, it just felt like home.  I like Tim more than I knew after having been to other church's.  I think this is where we will go back to. 
I always loved the music & it's nice that Holly & her family go there too.  The people are friendly and Tanner enjoys going to the clubhouse, obviously more so when Jackson is there!
I just need to get involved so that we can become more a part of the community within the church too.

Be your own hero