There's this struggle between being a Mom and getting your kid to understand that you are more than just a mom! Though that is a HUGE part of who you are, you have likes, habits, character traits they aren't going to like & you're going to do things they don't agree with or like.
I was a boy crazy little girl who loved to play outside & get dirty, I loved my Strawberry Shortcake dolls. I grew up to be a teenager who loved bubble gum, clothes and purses! I had so many purses and changed them everyday to match my outfits! My first job was working at The Gap, I was at the mall pretty well every day and yes, I was still boy crazy in those teen years. Then I was a twenty something & found what would turn out to be the industry I would spend the better part of my life working in, Property Manageent, I loved music! Babyface, Mariah Carey, 98 Degrees were just a few of my favorites. I loved the movies Poetic Justice, Boys in the Hood and Menace to Society. In the mid to late 90's, I was at the bars a lot! This is when I met my 1st husband, my son's father. I was 28 when we got married & I finally started to settle down. At 32 I had my son and my life changed for ever. He was my everything and I was with him every minute if I wasn't at work. Changing his clothes, forever a camera in my hand and in his face. Scrapbooked this little person I'd been blessed with in full force! My world was my son, he was my everything. My marriage would be put 2nd to my son and it dried up and I fell out of love. I started down the road to divorce at 38 in 2011 and was on a roller coaster for awhile trying to navigate these changes inside of me and my feelings. I was divorced in 2012 and still a mother and was finding myself as a person again.
I would meet my 2nd husband in 2013 on match and we moved from the house my son came home from the hospital too and our world changed. I was happy, my son seemed happy & was adjusting to live in this new town with new people. He started in a new school, started playing every sport & deciding what he liked and wanted to do. He was an amazing little artist, always had been! But now he was falling into his love of music and sports too. Fast forward and he stuck with soccer, movies really became a passion and here we are in his senior year os high school. HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? I truly do not know how this has all gone so fast!
As he is really coming into himself, preparing for "the real world" he has become very judemental about who I am and how I live my life. As I had to tell him, I am an adult and can do as I want. When he is an adult, he can do the same. We need to keep our optinions, our judgements to ourselves. I am seeing my son is just as critical of others as I am and am learning that sometimes we really do need to keep those opinions to ourselves.
I am not just your mom, but I am a wife and a woman too. I am so much all rolled into this body & I'm not proud my everything about myself or who I can be at times, but I love me. I love all of me and I am a work in progress as we all are. Everything I've done and where I've been has made me who I am and I will never stop growing and changing. I hope to drop some of the bad and pick up more of the good along the way.
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