Mary Engelbreit daily calendar pages

LOVED these two so I had to share...made me chuckle!

More insight to alcoholics...

Reading on the internet, I came across a story of a man who's mother was an alcoholic & he's getting advice from Deepak Chopra.  I love what one person sent in as a response to his story and the advice given to that man by Deepak Chopra.  Their post said this:

I would be VERY careful of interpreting someone else`s dysfunction as being in any way your "choice" from a past life. Notice that the wise Mr. Chopra doesn`t speak of it like this. He speaks of a higher intelligence that guides us towards awakening and growth. I speak to you as an abuse survivor. The influence of our parents on us is so great that when we`re given destructive parents, it`s our special challenge in life to overcome their influence. This, I feel, is the awakening and growth that you can find in your family situation. The dysfunctional behavior of others isn`t our responsibility. We must accept that there are those who will never awaken to their destructive behaviors. In my experience, few abusers (including alcoholic abusers, like your mother) recognize their abuse within their hearts. In other words, they don`t FEEL they`ve done anything wrong because they can always justify to themselves why they did what they did. If they don`t feel they`ve done something wrong, they don`t see that there`s anything to change, and so they won`t change. As the wise Mr. Chopra says, those of us from dysfunctional families must honor the strength we showed in making it through our past. We must face the fact that we can`t heal a destructive relationship with those who don`t see their own destruction. I personally have chosen to cut ties with my abusers as their psychological problems prevent them from even recognizing that they`re abusers. That was 10 years ago and it was painful, but I couldn`t have known the empowerment and inner peace that I know today by clinging to the hope that I could somehow heal the relationship. Like the wise Mr. Chopra says, we must become our own nurturers and protectors. You can`t nurture yourself if you cling to the belief that you can heal a relationship where the other person doesn`t even see that they`ve done anything wrong. You can`t protect yourself if you put yourself in the path of a destructive person who doesn`t even recognize that she`s destructive. You can`t make her change what she`s doing; only she can do that. But I tell you from bitter experience, and I know it`s painful to hear, we must accept that there are those who will never see that they`re destructive and we must move on. Think of all the beautiful energy you waste on your destructive mother that you could be giving to yourself and others. Blessings, Rainbow

This is amazing and so true!  I went in and highlighted what I so agreed with from my own experiences in life.  It's took me awhile to understand this and I tried for so long to change and make my last relationship what I so hoped it could be.  But when one of you has an addiction to alcohol it's not going to happen. I have to move on for myself and leave the destructive behavior and negativity behind for the sake of my own well being and that of my son.  It was exhausting and it put me into a depression that I've never expereienced before.  I pray that he will truly look at himself and get help for himself for the right reasons.  But you can't help people when they truly don't see that they have a problem and don't want the help. 

This is the link where I got "Rainbow's" repsonse:  https://www.deepakchopra.com/blog/view/651/why_we_have_our_parents

Make today count

Good things

You're not going to get anything out of life if you sit around waiting for it to come to you or for someone to hand it to you!  You gotta get up, have a positive outlook/attitude and work hard for it everyday!  NEVER GIVE UP!

be you...no one else!

I am worth so much more...

THANK YOU for showing your true colors to me just one more time so that I could finally see that things were never going to change.  I AM WORTH SO MUCH more than to be called a cunt, whore, bitch, fat, ugly, piece of trash, nigger lover...My son is not a mongaloid, piece of trash or douchebag as you called him!  Take yourself on down the road and try to find another woman that will take care of you the way that I did, love you the way I did & put you on this pedestal, put up with what I did for as long as I did and would have made you a very happy man for the rest of your life!  All I asked for was that you get a job, contribute to the household, to give up the drinking, to be a responsible grown man.  So I say once again, THANK YOU for your drunken rants and texts that have opened my eyes.  I finally realized that by me letting you go, it was not throwing a person away as I felt like people were telling me to do for so long.  It was me realizing that you would never be willing to take the steps to make the changes for anything good or positive to ever come from the relationship, from your life.  You don't love or respect yourself or me enough from the actions you have shown. 

Your demons, your lies and negative thoughts are too big for you and FAR too big for me.

History of rap - Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake

They've done it again...love it!

and in case you've missed the first three...

What is an assclown?

LONG READ BUT EXTREMLEY WORTH: An assclown is someone that mistreats you and more often than not eventually proves to be a waste of time and space. He (or she) adds little or no value to the relationship and the cost to you of being with him is often your self-esteem, your well-being, and for some, your career, family, or friends. They only have one foot or possibly even a toe in the relationship, or even nothing at all, and they knowingly (even if they deny it) mess you around and enjoy the fringe benefits of being with you (ego stroking, sex, a reliable shoulder to lean on, money etc) even though they don’t actually want you or have no intentions of ever giving you the relationship that you want. Often mixed in with Mr Unavailables, while some Mr Unavailables are assclowns, because they actively and knowingly seek to mistreat, exploit, and abuse people they’re involved with, all assclowns are ‘unavailable’, are narcissistic or have narcissistic tendencies, and don’t mean anyone that they become involved with any good and veer between at best being users and at worst, being very dangerous.

You know he’s an assclown when he relies on The Outrageous Principle and busting your boundaries – He’ll take a chance and ask or do the most ridiculous thing to test to see what he can get away with, and with your little or no boundaries, taking this risk often pays off. He’s always trying to push the boundaries and has little or no respect for any that you enforce. Basically if you have boundaries, a relationship with an assclown cannot and will not work because they on do things on their terms.

You know he’s an assclown when he has an ‘I’m Not That Bad’ attitude and outlook – He’ll often compare what he deems to be worse to make himself look better and won’t consider something to be bad if he didn’t think there’s been a tangible severe consequence. He also may not think he’s ‘that bad’ if he believes that you don’t know the true extent of his dubious actions plus coupled with his selective memory (see below with The Reset Button), he sees himself in a near glowing light anyway. He then backs up his ‘I’m not that bad’ attitude justifying it with ridiculous utterings (see below).

You know he’s an assclown when he liberally presses The Reset Button – He possesses a ‘special’ ability to reset the relationship to whatever point that he feels most comfortable with, which is effectively like erasing the past. This is how he breezes his way back into various exes lives, disappearing for long enough and then bamboozling his way back in and trying to force out the memory of his misdemeanors. You’ll either remember them but be so fricking relieved to have him back and feel like you’ve ‘won’ that you go along with his ‘brainwash’ or you’ll try to reason with him and explain your point of view about past events and he reacts negatively, effectively teaching you (see below with passive aggression) that if you ‘remember’, he’ll be offski or difficult to deal with.

You know he’s an assclown when he sheds Crocodile Tears – He uses tears with little or no sincerity in them that are used to get what he wants. Often mistaken for evidence of emotion. Or remorse. Unfortunately it fits in well with pressing The Reset Button and shifting the focus off his bad behavior or the impact on you.

You know he’s an assclown when he uses The Dripfeed Maneuver – Instead of being upfront and giving you all of the information, he makes the private decision to only tell you what he thinks you can handle at that time. Then it’s drip…drip…drip. Unfortunately for you if you’re an eager listener willing to believe he’s reformed or keen to be honest, you’ll take his latest drip as the truth and then become unseated when it turns out that you’re basing your relationship on another half truth. You are very likely to be caught out by this if you’re in denial about who they really are and don’t want to let go of your illusions.

You know he’s an assclown when he engages in Future Faking – Letting you think that there’s a future so that he can get what he needs in the present, you’ll be spun tales, taken on whirlwind rides where he promises the sun, moon and the stars, says he wants to have babies, get engaged, get married, buy a house, and may even show pony you around to friends and family, and then shazam, the future’s not so bright and when you call him on his rinky dink behavior, he looks at you blankly, says you misunderstood, says that you didn’t meet his standards, or starts saying that he just needs ‘time’ or that it turns out that he’s not over his ex, or even worse, he’s been shagging someone else the whole time while he’s been spinning tales. You’re very likely to be caught out by this if you buy into the fairy tale illusion and don’t think it’s very odd when a man you hardly know is making grandiose promises and gestures that start to dwindle sharply. In fact, you don’t find it odd when a guy wants to fast forward you through the initial stage of the relationship.

You know he’s an assclown when he amends the Terms and Conditions of the relationship – Constantly switching the goalposts after luring you in on a temporary deal where you probably didn’t read the small print, little do you realize is that he’s mentally tweaking up the ‘agreement’ with every boundary busting maneuver he can manage. Tied in with his future faking, this guy reserves the right to withdraw the offer at any time or to roll out a different deal and if you want to be with him, it’s his way, or no way.

You know he’s an assclown when he does the Showing You The Door act – Dumping you to gain power and control, or giving you periodical ‘opt-out’s’ – ‘If you don’t like how I roll, you know where the door is….’, he uses insecurity and fear and the prospect of telling you to beat it, to keep you in check. You’ll fall foul of this especially if you ‘cry wolf’ and engage in Women Who Talk (and Think) Too Much syndrome because he’ll realize that you’re crying and talking/complaining, but not going anywhere and recognizes that the threat of him going or him disappearing after you voice any opposition will create maximum impact, possibly even silencing you.

You know he’s an assclown when you get caught up in his Passive Aggression – Despite appearing to be on board, he obstructs and undermines through resistance that let’s him do as he always intended. As an example he’ll agree to go somewhere with you and pick you up at a certain time. You hear nothing from him on the day and an hour after he’s due to show up, he says he’s got problems at work and will be there soon. You wait. He calls throughout the evening and then says he’ll be there about 10 minutes before the event is due to finish… It’s the same when he says ‘Of course I’ll be faithful’ and then continues shagging around behind your back, or claims that he’ll move in and then comes up with every obstructive move possible. If you don’t get wise to this very quickly and keep buying into his lies, you will be continuously let down.

You know he’s an assclown when he relies on The Status Quo – A behavior seen with Mr Unavailables as well, assclowns also try to keep the relationship in their own comfort zone by blowing hot and cold and managing down your expectations. What separates an assclown from a Mr Unavailable is that he has lots of other dodgy or downright outrageous behavior that he’s doing while managing down your expectations.

GET RID OF YOUR ASSCLOWN TODAY!

Repentance

When we do wrong, and really feel guilty for it and want that forgiveness, we need to make sure that we don't keep doing it again!  If you keep doing something because you know you get forgiveness, that's not truly learning the difference of knowing right from wrong and what it is to truly repent for your sins.  DO GOOD - DO RIGHT...

Turned a corner and feeling good!

I've finally turned a corner and I feel like good things are on the horizon. One foot in front of the other I will keep on marching to the beat of my drum! Happy, confident, following the Lord and setting a good example for my son! I'm feeling very good this morning about what the future holds. Do good, get good.