Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The road to divorce

As I have a friend starting out on the road to divorce, it takes me back to thinking about when I knew I was ready to start the process.  I didn't love my husband anymore, in fact I'm not 100% certain I ever did!  I almost didn't walk down the aisle, was crying to my Mom & sister about a week before the wedding and never should have done it!  The reason I did - plane tickets were bought for those coming in from out of town, the dress was bought, church, caterer, DJ, reception hall all booked, blah blah blah.  And how would I return all those gifts?  REALLY?!  THAT'S what you were worried about & so you got married?!  There were just so many things that didn't fit right and I did it anyways!  Can't regret it b/c I wouldn't have my beautiful son, but man...what a waste!  So many years wasted in what really was a loveless marriage.

As I've been listening to the lyrics to the Carrie Underwood song I just posted yesterday, it makes me think what a fool I was for marrying that man.  He was nothing like you'd wish for your child.  He didn't have drive or ambition to do things in life, he didn't care how far he went in life, he just wanted to be child free & able to have his time to play (fish, watch TV) and didn't want to do the work it would take to have nicer things in life or to move up.  I'm not saying it's about what you have by any means!  I am so learning that as my years go on.  For me - number one, it's love.  Love, respect, appreciation and attraction are the most important things.  I want a hard working man who knows how to take care of his, would do anything to stand up for you and has your back!  I never felt like my ex husband had my back.  Had told him that too.  He was a spineless man that was so dependent on others (his Mother and myself) and never grew into an independent man.  Just not what I want for myself, not the example I want for my son.  I was raised to be a very independent woman and I want that for my son!
A few that I found really interesting:
  • 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
  • 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
  • 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

  • Statistics on the Likelihood of Divorce

    If your parents are happily married, your risk of divorce decreases by 14 percent.

    People who wait to marry until they are over the age of 25 are 24 percent less likely to get divorced.

    Living together prior to getting married can increase the chance of getting divorced by as much as 40 percent.

    If you’ve attended college, your risk of divorce decreases by 13 percent.

    2008 voter data shows that “red” states (states that tend to vote Republican), have higher divorce rates than “blue” states (states that tend to vote Democrat).

    The Barna Research Group measured divorce statistics by religion. They found that 29 percent of Baptists are divorced (the highest for a US religious group), while only 21 percent of atheists/agnostics were divorced (the lowest).

    Divorce and Children Statistics

    The divorce rate among couples with children is 40 percent lower than couples without children.

    Seventy-five percent of children with divorced parents live with their mother.

    Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these children, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.'s the link to where I got these statistics on divorce 

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