Monday, June 24, 2013

Bittersweet leaving my OP home

As I've been packing up and moving things out this week, I think how bittersweet it really is.  I've been in this house for 10 years, love my neighbors and truly have some of my very best friends right there within walking distance, this was the Tanner's first home, the home he knew us as his family living in.  So many changes though in the past couple of years and it's time to end that chapter for the next one to begin. So many people want to give their opinions, throw in their two cents etc.  But ya know what, no one has walked in your shoes, no one knows the what's in my heart and where I'm at in my heart or my head & what I've experienced in the past couple of years or my life as a whole over this 40 years to get me to where I am at today.
No, this is not what I would ever have wanted for my child, to be a product of a divorced family.  but it is what it is and I was no longer in love with my husband.  I had completely checked out and that is not fair for any of us.  I want to be happy and with someone I love and who's love I can feel and for my son to witness what it is for a husband and wife to really be in love.  I don't want him to just see people going through the motions or for the lack of real emotion.  It's not fair for my ex husband either.  There is someone out there that will love him the way he needs to be loved and he deserves to find that as well.
Anyways...back to leaving my house.  I'm so excited to be on this journey with Dave and what lies in our future.  I wouldn't want to be doing this journey with anyone other than this man who I know loves me with all his heart and I love him right back!  Life is always full of changes and without changes, we would never grow. 

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