Monday, June 24, 2013

Doesn't seem possible it's been 19 years

last night in the middle of the night it was 19 years ago that was the last time I saw my father awake.  He drifted off somewhere around 5 am and never woke back up.  I remember those last hours as we were in ICU with him and he had all three of us (Mom, Helen and myself) in there with him.  He was squeezing Mom's hand & I can remember her talking to him about his three girls being there with hm.  I can remember him squeezing her hand & her saying you're telling me how much you love me aren't you and he just kept squeezing.  He then mustered up all the strength he had, puckered and pulled himself up to give my Mom one last kiss before he was out.  That was Friday morning, June 24th, 1994.  Everyone started rolling into town that morning.  Dad made it longer than his Dr., Dr. Bowen, said he would.  He lasted until around 1:00 am, Saturday June 25th. 
This is always such a hard time of year as  relive it all day by day.  At least I stopped doing it daily as I did for so many months after he was gone.  I didn't want to forget a thing & I kept thinking that if I relived it daily, it would burn it in my memory forever. 
Tomorrow will be the 19 year anniversary that my Dad passed away and the first year that I will be working on that day since he's been gone. 

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