Mad, Passionate, Extraordinary love

Family time

So Dave & I took Tanner and Zack to a Royals game on Tuesday night.  I had my cell phone out & was on FB a good chunk of time . I had no idea how annoyed Dave was at that.  We talked later & come to find out family time is HUGE to Dave!  No more FB or texting when we're out for family time.  I think it's great that he's actually that into spending time as a family!  I know it's a rule at dinner, no cell phones.  I've seen that come into effect with Zack when he's brought his phone out at the table.  Love that my man is such a traditionalist on spending time together as a family & that time together is spent together, not socializing with others while we're in that moment.  I think it's a great thing for us to be teaching our kids!

Funny thing was I'd just heard a big conversation about this on the radio & same senerio!  A man had taken his family & his kids were texting the whole game and he was bent out of shape & trying to decide if you cancel family time & going out like that or just take the phones away.   

Sophia Grace & Rosie

HA!  Love these two little cuties! 

I've found peace

We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.
Thomas Merton

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/t/thomas_merton.html#sAQLFOwU91pqkLez.99

I was busy looking for a quote once again and came across this one.  I think this is the poet that Spencer Reid (character from Criminal Minds) quotes often. And as I read this, I thought I am at peace.  I've known this for a little while now, but I really feel it and I am so happy in my heart!  Letting go of so much of who I became the past year has felt good.  Really finding myself and what I want in life and finding that love.  It feels good.  I know I'm going to be OK.  I know my son is going to be OK.  Life is good!

My horoscope today...

This is one of those days in which you need to act or else you will be acted upon, Capricorn. Stubborn, aggressive forces are working counter to your aims. You will find yourself swept up in the thick of things if you aren't careful. Don't get too worried about what other people consider wrong. Have confidence in what you know is right.

My Mom

Looking through pictures of my Dad and stuff today, I came across one of my favorite pictures of my Mom...

Dad's funeral program and insert

Looking at this I realize how poorly the scan came out!  I'll have to bring this in & rescan here on the scanner at work so it's a more legible scanned copy!  My sister did this up.  On the back was an article my Mom sent into the newspaper on their question "Who is your hero".  My Mom's entry was published in the paper.  I wrote the poem that was put as an insert into the program.

Freedom of speech...

As so many want to chime in on what they really know nothing about, I have this to say...

Doesn't seem possible it's been 19 years

last night in the middle of the night it was 19 years ago that was the last time I saw my father awake.  He drifted off somewhere around 5 am and never woke back up.  I remember those last hours as we were in ICU with him and he had all three of us (Mom, Helen and myself) in there with him.  He was squeezing Mom's hand & I can remember her talking to him about his three girls being there with hm.  I can remember him squeezing her hand & her saying you're telling me how much you love me aren't you and he just kept squeezing.  He then mustered up all the strength he had, puckered and pulled himself up to give my Mom one last kiss before he was out.  That was Friday morning, June 24th, 1994.  Everyone started rolling into town that morning.  Dad made it longer than his Dr., Dr. Bowen, said he would.  He lasted until around 1:00 am, Saturday June 25th. 
This is always such a hard time of year as  relive it all day by day.  At least I stopped doing it daily as I did for so many months after he was gone.  I didn't want to forget a thing & I kept thinking that if I relived it daily, it would burn it in my memory forever. 
Tomorrow will be the 19 year anniversary that my Dad passed away and the first year that I will be working on that day since he's been gone. 

Amazing Scalloped Potatoes recipe

OK, so a couple weeks ago I was making pork chops & scalloped potatoes for my boyfriend & his kiddos.  I wanted to try a new recipe & found one online.  HOLY SMOKES, these are the most amazing scalloped potatoes  I have EVER had!  Seriously...we were all raving!  Whomever came up with this recipe...they created a real keeper!  YUM-O-RAMA!

Getting back into my groove...

Bittersweet leaving my OP home

As I've been packing up and moving things out this week, I think how bittersweet it really is.  I've been in this house for 10 years, love my neighbors and truly have some of my very best friends right there within walking distance, this was the Tanner's first home, the home he knew us as his family living in.  So many changes though in the past couple of years and it's time to end that chapter for the next one to begin. So many people want to give their opinions, throw in their two cents etc.  But ya know what, no one has walked in your shoes, no one knows the what's in my heart and where I'm at in my heart or my head & what I've experienced in the past couple of years or my life as a whole over this 40 years to get me to where I am at today.
No, this is not what I would ever have wanted for my child, to be a product of a divorced family.  but it is what it is and I was no longer in love with my husband.  I had completely checked out and that is not fair for any of us.  I want to be happy and with someone I love and who's love I can feel and for my son to witness what it is for a husband and wife to really be in love.  I don't want him to just see people going through the motions or for the lack of real emotion.  It's not fair for my ex husband either.  There is someone out there that will love him the way he needs to be loved and he deserves to find that as well.
Anyways...back to leaving my house.  I'm so excited to be on this journey with Dave and what lies in our future.  I wouldn't want to be doing this journey with anyone other than this man who I know loves me with all his heart and I love him right back!  Life is always full of changes and without changes, we would never grow. 

My prince (the big one)

This has been a long time coming!  I've finally found the one who's love I can feel and see!  It's honest, no lies...He is a hard working, honest, gentle, protective, strong, loving, sensitive on one side, but tough on the other, dedicated man who loves me!  And I love him...I know he would do anything to protect me and stand up for me (not in a hey, I'm crazy and/or jealous kind of way).  I just know that he would be there to back me up and/or protect me if something were happening. 

 It all feels so natural like we've known each other forever. 

Head over heels...this man stole my heart and I'm all his! 

Real life compared to movie Fear

I was driving a couple days ago and the song Wild Horses came on.  I love this song & it was in the movie Fear with Reese Witherspoon & Mark Wahlberg from 1996. 

I was thinking that movie really mirrors a bit of my life with the ex boyfriend Brad.  Scary times...glad to have that in my past and him out of my life.  For the most part.  Still waiting for the legal stuff to settle up and to get money for the damage he did to my home and belongings before he left.  I will never get everything that I lost from that back, but at least my son and I are safe now and on the other side of all of that.  Nothing but a whole lotta heartache, stress and lies.  He was dangerous, I knew deep down at the time but something had a hold of me so tight that I wasn't willing to let it go.  I was never worried for my son's safety.  My own at times yes, but never that he would hurt my son.  Of course you look at that and think something happening to me, that right there would hurt my son.   When someone threatens to shoot you, they have the loaded gun in hand, you shouldn't just push that under the rug!  RUN - RUN LIKE HELL...you just can't stay in a relationship with an unstable personality and think that anything is going to change.  So, bottom line - watch this movie.  The character Mark Wahlberg plays is much like my ex in that he's lying about his life to her and her family.  In the end you see what a scary monster this man really is and what he is capable of. 

Red Riding Hood

Loved this movie...

My Destiny

You came in
That's what my little heart was looking for
Laughter in the rain
Feeling like a fool in love again!

Oh the laughter cames
When the tears stopped falling
Now all I do is just call your name
(When I say lover)
You walked in and my heart discovered
That my life would never be the same

[Refrain]
Oh you are My Destiny
You are my one and only
You gave that joy to me
When my whole life was lonely!

Angel in disguise
With your power of love you just hypnotize
I just love the magic of your spell
How much joy we have together
Only time will tell!

Oh the laughter came
When the tears stopped falling
Now all I do is just call your name
(I just call your name)
You walked in and my heart discovered
That my life would never be the same!

I know you are My Destiny
You are my one and only
You gave that joy t ome
When my whole life was lonely!

Every day every night
Oh I know it's so right
When I see your face
Only times gonna tell
But I know you so well
Girl my loves for real
From the first time that I saw you
I know it was forever

This mighty love between us
Will keep us together
You're the girl god sent from heaven
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net .]
I'm so glad I found you
Forever forever forever forever
Forever Forever!
I'm so glad to be around you

You are My Destiny
You are my one and only
You gave that joy to me
When my whole world was lonely!

It's alright it's alright
Do it again!
It's alright it's alright
Don't let this love end!
It's alright it's alright
Do it again!
It's alright it's alright
Don't let this love end!

From the first time that I saw you
I knew it was forever
This mighty love between us
Will keep us together
You're the girl god sent from heaven
I'm so glad I found you
Forever forever forever
Forever forever forever
I'm so glad to be around you!

You are My Destiny
You are my one and only
You gave that joy to me
When my whole world was lonely!
You are My Destiny
You are my one and only
You gave that joy to me
When my whole world was lonely!

It's alright
Do it again!
It's alright it's alright
Don't let this love end!
It's alright it's alright
Do it again!
It's alright it's alright
Don't let this love end!
It's alright
Do it again!
It's alright it's alright
Don't let this love end!

Songwriter(s): Lionel B. Richie Jr
Copyright: Lbr Music

 

A new favorite song for my sweet boy and I!

 

Driving to our new home last night this song came on & I fell in love!  Tanner knew the song, but I did not.  I googled it this morning & bought it for my ipod! 

 

"Gone, Gone, Gone"

When life leaves you high and dry

I'll be at your door tonight

If you need help, if you need help.

I'll shut down the city lights,

I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe

To make you well, to make you well.

When enemies are at your door

I'll carry you away from war

If you need help, if you need help.

Your hope dangling by a string

I'll share in your suffering

To make you well, to make you well.

Give me reasons to believe

That you would do the same for me.

And I would do it for you, for you.

Baby, I'm not moving on

I love you long after you're gone.

For you, for you.

You would never sleep alone.

I love you long after you're gone

And long after you're gone, gone, gone.

When you fall like a statue

I'm gon' be there to catch you

Put you on your feet, you on your feet.

And if your well is empty

Not a thing will prevent me.

Tell me what you need, what do you need?

I surrender honestly.

You've always done the same for me.

So I would do it for you, for you.

Baby, I'm not moving on,

I love you long after you're gone.

For you, for you.

You would never sleep alone.

I love you long after you're gone

And long after you're gone, gone, gone.

You're my back bone.

You're my cornerstone.

You're my crutch when my legs stop moving.

You're my head start.

You're my rugged heart.

You're the pulse that I've always needed.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Like a drum my heart never stops beating...

For you, for you.

Baby, I'm not moving on.

I love you long after you're gone.

For you, for you.

You would never sleep alone.

I love you long after you're gone.

For you, for you.

Baby, I'm not moving on,

I love you long after you're gone.

For you, for you.

You would never sleep alone.

I love you long, long after you're gone.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you.

And long after you're gone, gone, gone.

I love you long after you're gone, gone, gone.

 

Going my own speed...

Pinky Promise...

 A pinky promise is as good as gold in my book! 

 

 

 

 

Release the toxic people/relationships

It doesn't just go for boyfriends, but any relationship! 

There are "friends" that just are so opinionated, and aren't there but for when they feel they should get involved & really step in when not asked too.  You don't hang out with these people, talk to them on the phone, in person, email or text with them.  They just pop up at random times & jump on in.  I am sick of the negativity and nasty opinionated comments.  Toxic people who have no idea what it's like to walk in your shoes but try to act like they've had any idea where you are. 

We are all different people with different ideas of happiness. Your lifestyle is not, was not and will never will be my life and I'm OK with that.  But please don't act like you have ANY idea what my financial situation is about or that you've had anything close to what I've experienced.  You are in a way different ballgame than I have ever played in!  And you've never gone through the ending of a marriage and having the emotions that I've had or been on the same field in this game either. I believe in love at first sight!  I want love, I found love and I'm going to enjoy the ride!  My roller coaster goes faster than yours, that's my choice, we all choose our own speed setting in life!

 

It's not how much you have...

Wedding Anniversary

Today would have been my Grandparent's 77th wedding anniversary!  This picture was taken from their 50th wedding anniversary.  My Mom & Uncle put on a big celebration for them in Omaha at the church that summer.  Little did we know we would lose Grandpa to cancer just over 6 months later on December 25th, 1986.  I sure miss my Grandparent's, so many special memories of them growing up & with my Grandma until I was in my 30's when we she passed away.

Great song find this morning...Babyface & Eric Clapton, Change The World

Cupcake & princess decorating love!

Moving forward...

Today will find me packing up & moving more out of the Overland Park home to the Eudora home.  So strange to think that after 10 years on Ballentine, bringing Tanner home to that house & his being there for 7 1/2 years now, we'll be moving out.  A LOT of crap to go through, get rid of, and pack up!  Probably good for me to be forced to get through all the tubs, boxes and cabinets!  So much stuff that I don't really need to be holding onto! 
We've got four weekends, this one included to get it all done!  WHOA...crazy & fast time frame!  I love the roller coaster though!  Bring it on...Went from one to five kids in a matter of days! LOL...love the chaos of having us all together!  THIS is what I was meant to do and who I was meant to be!  One of my favorite places - holding hands with Dave & our kids right there with us!  I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds for all of us as we keep on keepin' on!

Blurred Lines...another fav!

The Way - Ariana Grande (one of my new favs)!

Love