Wednesday, March 27, 2013




  1. (of a person) Deceiving or misleading others, typically on a habitual basis.
  2. Intended to deceive or mislead.
deceptive - false - fraudulent - delusive - lying

You are a deceitful son of a bitch!  I am shocked at how much I believed you when you told me you'd never loved any girl like you loved me. I was SO STUPID and believed it!

How did I ever think this was going to work?  As a friend pointed out to me, he didn't care that I was married.  I think back to those first communications & he started crossing the line right away with some of what he was saying and asking me.  I remember telling him I was married and had a child and couldn't talk about stuff like that and it was crossing a line. Then curiousity came in and I started up the conversation again.  Once the feelings became more than friends, I went back to attorney to finish up with my divorce as I'd started in summer of 2011.  It was fun in the beginning, I felt so free and really felt like we connected and were totally meant for each other. He saw that I was a trusting, naive girl and worked it to his full advantage.  I fell for everything!  Told him to quite his job, move in with me, he'd get a job here.  You have to be living here to get a job I said, you can't interview from down there.  You can't get an apartment when you don't have a job.  he had NO money when he came here, I was supporting us 100% by myself.  I put myself further in debt with him here.  Buying him clothes, $80 bottle of cologn, hotel rooms, incurred more debt with the attorney b/c it made my ex husband mad and he then got his own attorney.  I WAS SINKING and he was doing NOTHING to try to help me.  Sat there watched me falling apart...that is not love!

So to think that this person would be willing to try & start up a relationship with a married woman - that should have been a BIG SIGN right there that he is not a good person.  Not the person I want to be with.  He woke smoething in me that had never been awakened before and then I truly became a different person.  I am so lucky things did not go down a different way, I could have lost EVERYTHING!  And I mean EVERYTHING... my house, my son, my family, my friends, my job. 

I am sickened today as I think about what I saw where he was reaching out and making contact to girls in Nov. when he was back in Oklahoma all while talking and texting me and missing me and loving me and blah blah blah...LIES - ALL EFFING LIES  That's all that has come out of your mouth this whole relationship!  Before we were even together, you told me you had an ex wife, 4 year old daughter, a dog - all lies!  Tiffany (your ex wife) got the house, had a credit card for Trinity's (daughter) needs but that she often used it for herself to buy $200 bottles of perfume.  You were on a cell phone plan with her still b/c it was easier.  A dog that you don't even have, you were missing it so much, but would never take it from your daughter.  I'd call you all day & get no answer and when you'd finally answer you'd say you were working as most people do.  BULLSHIT - you hadn't been working for over a year I think you later told me!  LIES LIES LIES.  Your ex sister in law telling me you woudlnt' even walk to work at your Dad's office up the street from your apartment b/c you thought you were too good to walk. 

SHOCKED at what a DUMBASS I was!  Even after she was filling me on you beating up some other girlfriend (never saw any charges there) I brought you back!  Even though I was terrified for what you might do to our sweet puppy during the day, and what you had done to my cat that had her freaked out in June - I let you stay and continued to love you and honestly - now when I look back on this, I was putting you above my son.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?  WHO HAD I BECOME?  What was love for me was a game for you and boy did you play me.  You knew exactly what you were doing and you knew you had me! 

Well no more, I now see who you are and that this was all a game to you.  I was the latest victim in your game.  I pray there are no more.  I still wish you no ill will, but I hope you can see that you need help!  You can't go through life living off your Mom or other people.  You can't threaten people, and say what you want to hurt people.  It's just not right!  It's not how this world works.

I feel like a real ass today as things have been brought to light for me.  I am shocked, and again, that just shows my naivety. 


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