Monday, March 11, 2013

Depressed-Lazy or just winter?

I think I am depressed...yea, I'm pretty sure it's depression.  I'm just not me...
I've been in this weird state of mind for MONTHS now! 
I was so happy, I mean on top of the world just 9 1/2 months ago.  Gradually things started going downhill until they completely fell apart and I was sitting at the bottom.
Gradually I felt myself coming back, but I really wasn't letting myself go through the pain and I've been on a yo yo, roller coaster of sorts since.
I feel like I'm just a mess.
I just can't seem to get back to my happy place again. 
The house is such a mess and I've never fully gotten itself back from
taking down the Christmas decorations. 
I don't know where I went, but I sure wish I'd resurface 100% and come back to me!
I feel very lost, I miss Brad and I know that no one understands that.  I just want him back.  I want him back with a job and ready to step in as an active participant in this life!
I want him to prove so many people wrong and BE THE MAN that he's supposed to be in his life.
I know he can do it, he's just gotta step up and believe in himself! 

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