As I was reading this I was thinking of Brad. You've hit the bottom right now. Get back up and FIGHT to get clean, stop the drinking, stop feeling sorry for yourself & FIGHT! FIGHT to make a better life for you! You CAN do it...you have a beautiful heart in there, I've seen it. Don't settle for any less than happiness, true happiness in your heart! It's out there just waiting for you to go grab it!