Monday, December 3, 2012

I get it, to some degree, but on other levels I'm like is "fun" really the best way to describe this!?

I am shocked at what my ex husband is saying about my current situation to some degree.  I can understand his being glad that Brad is gone (for our son’s sake) and even finding satisfaction in my relationship being over and I’m having a hard time b/c now it’s my turn to see how this feels to be sad and hurting, but the fact that he’s having “fun” because Brad damaged the house and the reason that Coco had to be put down?  He’s having “fun” watching my life fall apart?  This is what he said:

“Things have been fun here watching Holly’s life fall apart. Her boyfriend ended up getting drunk, trashed the house, and left. He got stopped for his third dui with a open container plus loaded gun in the car. I also believe he is responsible for the death of Holly’s dog, but can’t prove that”.

There are so many people that think he’s this great guy that doesn’t have an unkind word to say about anyone.  That is far from the truth.  I’m not saying I’m perfect BY ANY MEANS – but I just hate that people have no idea that he has spoken badly about them with as supportive as they’ve been of him over the past 7 months.  

Especially when some of what he is saying on FB about me have been half truths.  Yes, I jumped right into a relationship when I told him I wanted to divorce.  But some people don't know that we started down this road of divorce last summer (2011) and I almost had everything done and ready to file!  He talked me into staying, my gut talked me into staying.  I didn't want our son coming back to me years later wondering why I didn't try.  So we went to counseling.  It was this past Spring though when Brad found me & when those feelings became more than friendship - I immediately went back to the lawyer.  I am not going to stay in a marriage when I know it's not right.  Not fair to either of us.  There is someone out there for both of us that is going to love us the way we each deserve!  I was not right for my ex.  I am a very strong personality and he is not.  That on top of I was not in can't stay in a marriage when you aren't in love, or at least I'm not!  You only get one shot at life & I'm gonna live it and ENJOY it!  I'm hear to live out loud!  I want my son to see a loving marriage, and he wasn't seeing that with his parents.  It breaks my heart for him to not have the same family, but he will be better off because of this.  I am certain of day, when Chad and I have love in our lives with other people, ones that also love and care for Tanner - like my friend Janet has - it will be better.  I do believe that! 

So someday...I will get remarried & he may have a child or children of his own - same for my ex & we'll be in blended families...

I will tell you that my next boyfriend - he WILL be a kid person or have at least one himself!  He WILL be a man of God!  He WILL like the Zach Brown Band! He WILL love to work out!  He WILL love movies!  He WILL love to entertain or at least let me entertain & secretly enjoy it!  :)   He WILL love to eat but be fit!  I love to cook & that was something that I loved about Brad, he always loved for me to cook!  Chad was never really big on that...breakfast, I love to make a big breakfast on Saturday morning!  I don't know...these are just some of my stupid stipulations that I have!  I am setting the bar high and I'm not settling for any less...

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