Saturday, December 22, 2012

Day 53

Thankful for friends that can understand where I've been & where I am now.  It's not just something that anyone can understand b/c I certainly never did!  I can remember thinking I'd never put up with that crap!  And I've had people tell me that I wouldn't have put with that from Chad so why am I doing it now?  I had another person tell me I put up with more than they ever would have thought I would have.  I can't explain it to you and I can understand why others still did, do or are. It's just nice to have those people that you can talk to that you know REALLY do get where you're coming from!  Love is a powerful thing and can really mess you up!  I know you are not meant for me and you are not the man that you made yourself out to be or the man that I fell in love with, I guess he really doesn't exist.  But, I still love him.  I know that sounds crazy...but there was a feeling there that I'd never felt before.  As a friend said to me today, boy he really got his hooks in you girl!  You are right...he got them in deep!

But, I can not and will not be pulled back in again.  There is NOTHING in this world worth losing my son over!  And I mean NOTHING.  I would give my life for that sweet child!  He has so much to live for and a lifetime of memories and good times to be had!  My sweet boy!

So - once again, today, I say I am thankful for those friends that know where I am in my head and how I stayed there for as long as I did with what I was going through. 

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